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Tag: Short funny jokes

Member of Parliament

Member of Parliament

This is a funny story doing the rounds in the Indian Parliament. An MP (Member of Parliament) who was fast asleep at home, was woken up in the middle of the night by his wife. She whispered to him, “I think there are thieves in the House.”

“Not possible”, said the MP groggy with sleep, “In the Parliament, yes, but not in the House.”

Eyesight

Eyesight

Renie said to her husband Jose, “Guess what I found in our son’s cupboard. A whole bunch of adult magazines. I tell you, you need to speak to that boy!!”

Jose heads to his son’s bedroom and on entering, says to him, “Jack, you need to stop looking at adult mags. You know they can make you lose your eyesight.”

Jack says, “I am over here dad”.

Boring lecture

Boring lecture

Sahil and Saurav were getting bored with the Internet Marketing lecture in class.

Sahil says, “This lecture is so boring,I nearly dozed off twice. Even my bums seem to have fallen asleep.

Saurav commented, “I know, I heard them snore a couple of times!”

Wife woes

Wife woes

Ronnie: “Bobby, I have heard that Lucky’s fourth wife also left him for good.”

Bobby: “Really?? Lucky is really lucky. My wife does not go to her mother’s even for a week.”

Regular at the beach

Regular at the beach

Robbie : I heard you are a regular at the beach for exercising. How do you exercise there?

Danny: yeah. I suck my belly in every time I find a chick pass by!

Countryside wedding

Countryside wedding

This is a true incident I was witness to at a countryside wedding.
As the ceremony was on, priest Richard raised his hand to give the final blessing. The groom misunderstood the gesture and surprised the priest with a high-five.
Not wanting to exclude the bride, priest Richard offered her a high-five, too. The priest finally managed to give his blessing, while there was laughter all around.

This is a true incident I was witness to at a countryside wedding.As the ceremony was on, priest Richard raised his hand to give the final blessing. The groom misunderstood the gesture and surprised the priest a high-five. Not wanting to exclude the bride, priest Richard offered her a high-five, too. The priest finally managed to give his blessing, while there was laughter all around.

Meaning of Inflation

Meaning of Inflation

A Chartered Accountant’s wife asked him the meaning of Inflation.
The CA, a smart alec, replied, “Honey, when we married, you were 36-24-36. Now you are 44-40-48. You have much more than you used to have earlier, and despite that, your value has declined. THAT is inflation!”
Natural talents

Natural talents

My drunk friend Jason had a comment to make on his mother-in-law. He said,  “I never ever make fun of my mother-in-law, I just leave her to exhibit her natural talents herself.”

Business of Windows

Business of Windows

Bubba went to see Bill Gates and said to him, “I am sorry to say this, sir, but I think you are mad!”

Bill Gates , shaken, asked him, “And what makes you think so?”

Bubba said, “Your surname is Gates and you are in the business of Windows!!”