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Joke of the day-Blind beggar

Joke of the day-Blind beggar

Anna and her husband Tom were walking down the street when a beggar called out to her and said, “Hey beautiful lady, can you please spare a dollar for a blind homeless man.”

 

Tom said to Anna, “Give him a dollar. He is really blind!”

Santa Singh’s wish

Santa Singh’s wish

Santa Singh meditated hard on the Himalayas seeking blessings from God. God was pleased and said to him, “I shall grant you a wish. Ask.”

Santa said, “I want wings so I can fly.”

God said, “That is against nature. I cannot grant you that. Ask for something else.”

Santa said, “I want to read my wife’s mind. She is very quarrelsome, so if I read her mind, I can avoid many such situations.”

God said, “What was you first wish again?”

 

 

Good jokes-Frightened Paula

Good jokes-Frightened Paula

Paula had come to India to visit old temples and shrines. Her tour guide, Raju led her into a dark cave. Paula hesitated and asked, “I hope there are no rats in this cave.”

Raju replied, “There is no need to be afraid, madam. They have been eaten by cobras.”

The reprimand

The reprimand

Watson was reprimanding his son Tito. He said, “Look at our neighbour, Mr. Johnson’s daughter. She stood first in her class. And you could not even pass one subject!!!”

Tito replies, “You are right. I was looking at her all the time – and that’s the reason I failed.”

Desperately needed an Accountant

Desperately needed an Accountant

Lisa Gibson, the owner of an export business, confided in her friend that she was desperately looking out for somebody to handle her company’s accounts.

Her friend asked, “But didn’t you hire someone only last month?”

Lisa replied, “Yes, that’s exactly the one I am looking for.”

Shivering

Shivering

Reema, aged 86, said to her sister Seema, aged 76. “It was so cold last nite…I was shivering despite my blankets”

Seema said, “Your teeth must have chattered.”

Reema said, “Not sure about that. We have not slept together for years.”

Live together

Live together

Bubba’s wife says, “I heard that men and women are not allowed to live together in Heaven.”

Bubba comments, “You heard right, Mary. That’s the reason why it’s called Heaven!”

Fine suit

Fine suit

Tony went to the tailor to collect his made-to-order suit. He immediately noticed that the arms were too long. When he pointed it out, tailor Yassin said, “That’s no bother, just pull them up at the elbow and hold them in the front. You look fine now.”

Tony next pointed out the collar. “The collar is way above my neck.”

Yassin the tailor had a ready solution. “No problem. Hunch your back up and it will look just fine.”

Tony said, “But I am stepping on the hem!”

Yassin the tailor said matter-of-factly, “That’s no bother, bend your knees just a bit and it will be just perfect.”

Tony, with his body twisted awkwardly, steps into the streets.

Two girls saw him pass by. One girl said to the other, “Did you see that poor man?”

The other replied, “Yes, but what a fine-looking suit!”

A reason to worry!

A reason to worry!

The hospital janitor, Joe saw a patient running wildly in the corridors.

Joe stopped him and asked what was the problem.

The patient said, “They are to operate on me today. The nurse said it’s a simple operation, and there is nothing to worry.”

Joe tried to pacify the patient, “She was just trying to comfort you, why are you so scared?”

The patient replied, “She was talking to the doctor.”