May 21st, 2012 by admin
Dean had left his car overnight outside his building. The next morning he found that somebody had played mischief and his car was covered with dents all over. So dean went to his friend Martin who owned a garage.
Martin was in a teasing mood and suggested: “Hey Dean, this is nothing. Just go home, put your mouth to the tail pipe and blow as hard as you can. The dents will pop out.”
Dean went home and did what he was told. No result. His wife Marie saw what he was doing and asked: “What on the earth you are doing?” Dean told her.
Marie was thoughtful for a while, then said: “All the air you are blowing is going out of the windows. I suppose you should roll them up first.”
May 19th, 2012 by admin
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon.
After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family.
Since this was a new home, the process took some time.
The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get.
They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line: “Guess who sent them.”
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort.
They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time.
On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: “Now you know!”
May 18th, 2012 by admin
Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the elderly widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son,
“Tony, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Pierpoint is?”
A few minutes later, Tony returned.
“Well, is she all right?” asked the mother.
“She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed with you,” remarked Tony.
“At me?” the mother exclaimed. “Whatever for?”
Tony replied, “Mrs. Pierpoint said it’s none of your business how old she is.”
May 16th, 2012 by admin
Abe’s son Morris arrived home from school puffing and panting, sweat rolling down his face.
“Dad, you’ll be so proud of me,” Morris said, “I saved a dollar by running behind the bus all the way home!”
“Morris, you are a stupid boy!” said Abe, “You could have run behind a taxi and saved $12.00!”
May 14th, 2012 by admin
A guy goes into a store but the prices are too high as he is about to leave the merchant questions him as to why he is leaving.
“The prices are too high”
“Well” the merchant says, “you should come back next week we are having a fire sale”.
The patron says, “What do you mean you are having a fire sale next week?”
The merchant says, “Shhh”