Browsed by
Tag: joke

Short funny jokes-Black

Short funny jokes-Black

Mira was shopping for a black t-shirt at the Zara store, but she was unable to find anything with tribal designs. A salesperson approached her and offered help by looking in the store catalog.

After going through a few pages, the salesperson asked her co-worker,  “Jim, what are we calling black this year?”

Best funny jokes-Lost teeth

Best funny jokes-Lost teeth

Doctor Gonsalves asked his patient Santa Singh, “Santa, how did you lose 3 front teeth?”

Sardar  Santa Singh replied, “Doctor, my wife had made very hard rotis (Indian bread).”

Doctor Gonsalves said, “So why didn’t you refuse to eat?”

Sardar Santa Singh replied, “That’s exactly what I did!”

Funny jokes-Too specific

Funny jokes-Too specific

My girlfriend dumped me because she says I’m too specific. She broke the news to me yesterday at 3.21 pm whilst I was eating a roast dinner in my kitchen, which by the way has red tiles.

Big orange for a head

Big orange for a head

This chap walks into a pub and to his astonishment, notices that there’s a chap stood at the bar who has a huge orange for a head. Despite his curiosity, the chap decides not to pry and sits down quietly.

After a few drinks, curiosity has overcome the chap and he decides to inquire.

“Excuse me, mate, but I couldn’t help noticing you have a big orange for a head. What happened?”

“Well,” says the man with the big orange for a head, “I moved into a large old house not so long ago. One afternoon, I decided to explore the attic and found an old brass lamp in the corner. I rubbed the lamp and a Genie popped out, explained he had been trapped in there for two hundred years, and would grant me three wishes for releasing him.”

“So what did you ask for first?” asks the curious chap.

“I asked for ten million pounds. The Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and he asked me to phone the bank, who confirmed my balance was now ten million pounds!”

“What did you ask for with your second wish?”

“Well, I asked if I could make love to the ten most beautiful women in the world. Again, the Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and the doorbell rang. Ten supermodels ran in, picked me up, carried me to bed, and ravished me all night!”

“Wow,” says the curious chap, “What did you ask for with your third wish?”

“Well, I asked for a big orange for a head.”

Difficult to achieve

Difficult to achieve

TWO THINGS ARE DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE

1. To plant your ideas in someone else’s head.

2. To put someone else’s money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds in the first one is called a TEACHER.

And the second is called a BUSINESSMAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE

The one who fails in both is called a HUSBAND!!!

Chess champ

Chess champ

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

Hydrogen atom

Hydrogen atom

A hydrogen atom is walking down the street with a friend when he suddenly stops.

The friend says, “What’s wrong?”

The hydrogen atom replies, “I lost my electron!”

The friend says, “Are you sure?”

The hydrogen atom exclaims, “Yes, I’m positive.”

The friend laments, “Oh, I thought you were just being negative again.”