May 22nd, 2012 by admin
I have a stalker named Bill!
You know who you are!
I absolutely hate YOU! He keeps hanging around my house despite my best efforts to be rid of him. I think he likes me! And when I finally get rid of him, he keeps coming back. I think he loves me!
He comes in many forms…
telephone bill, water bill, electric bill, gas bill, garbage bill, insurance bill, cable bill, Dr. Bill…
If you drive by my house and see him feel free to shoot his ass on site!
Re-post if Bill haunts you too….
May 11th, 2012 by admin
A Swedish battleship was coursing through the western coast of Norway. On a particular dark night the ship received a radio signal in Norwegian instructing it to change course 15 degrees west. The Swede captain replied in signal that the sender of the signal should change its own course to 15 degrees east. Again the Swedish ship received the same signal message to change course 15 degrees west. Now livid, the Swedish captain signaled: “We will not. I am the captain of on a Swede battleship. If you want to remain safe and know what is good for you change your course to 15 degrees east.”
Pat came the reply: “Message received. We are at the Norwegian lighthouse. Now then, if you know what is good for you, change your course to 15 degrees west.”
April 12th, 2012 by admin
George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, “I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me.” Cheney reassured him by saying, “Jokes can’t hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I’ll show you what I mean.”
Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, “Please take me to 261 M street to see if I’m home, ” said Cheney.
Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, “Oh, I guess I’m not there! Take us back to where we started, please.”
The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, “You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don’t worry about their opinions!”
Bush said, “Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better.” Then he winked and whispered, “Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
March 21st, 2012 by admin
A new study found that 16 percent of Americans under the age of 24 don’t have a job. There’s even a name for that group: Art History majors.
March 12th, 2012 by admin
An agriculture student said to a farmer: “Your methods are too old fashioned. I won’t be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples.”
“I won’t be surprised either,” said the farmer, “this is an orange tree”.