April 22nd, 2012 by admin

“An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said ‘Close, but no cigar.’” —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”

April 21st, 2012 by admin

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana

Banana who?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana

Banana who?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana

Banana who?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana

April 16th, 2012 by admin

What’s the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it’ll probably stop whining.

March 26th, 2012 by admin

Q: Why should Anna Nicole Smith marry for money?

A: Because you can borrow it for cheaper and get bailed out if necessary!

March 25th, 2012 by admin

Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the Irish accountancy exam.

Examiner: If I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?
Paddy: Five.

Examiner: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Five.

Examiner: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer and then I give you another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?
Paddy: Four.

Examiner: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Five.

Examiner: How on earth do you work out that two lots of two rabbits is five?
Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home!