May 21st, 2012 by admin

Dean had left his car overnight outside his building. The next morning he found that somebody had played mischief and his car was covered with dents all over. So dean went to his friend Martin who owned a garage.

Martin was in a teasing mood and suggested: “Hey Dean, this is nothing. Just go home, put your mouth to the tail pipe and blow as hard as you can. The dents will pop out.”

Dean went home and did what he was told. No result. His wife Marie saw what he was doing and asked: “What on the earth you are doing?” Dean told her.

Marie was thoughtful for a while, then said: “All the air you are blowing is going out of the windows. I suppose you should roll them up first.”

May 17th, 2012 by admin

Notice in a Doctor’s consulting room to discourage consumption of fried & fatty food:

A few moments on your lips

Forever on your hips.

May 13th, 2012 by admin

The sweat stood out cold on Ford Prefect’s brow, and slid round the electrodes strapped to his temples. The Vogons wanted to be very much on top of the next-generation web. And they had the technology to show it – ajaxian social media delivering crowdsourcing network effects via software-as-a-service – all designed to heighten the experience of the sites and make sure that not a single nuance of the next-generation web’s poetry was lost.

Arthur Dent sat and quivered. He had no idea what he was in for, but he knew that he hadn’t liked anything that had happened so far and didn’t think things were likely to change.

The Vogon began to read – a fetid little passage of his own devising.

“Oh twitter xanga…” he began. Spasms wracked Ford’s body – this was worse than ever he’d been prepared for.

“… thy topix are to me–As orkut skype on a lulu bee.”

“Aaaaaaarggggghhhhhh!” went Ford Prefect, wrenching his head back as lumps of pain thumped through it. He could dimly see beside him Arthur lolling and rolling in his seat. He clenched his teeth.

“Digg I implore thee,” continued the merciless Vogon, “my ning shutterfly.”

His voice was rising to a horrible pitch of impassioned stridency. “And rollyo woot me with wikia flickr,– Or I will rend thee in the squidoo with my stornge, see if I don’t!”

“Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggcccccc!” cried Ford Prefect and threw one final spasm as the electronic enhancement of the last line caught him full blast across the temples. He went limp.

May 11th, 2012 by admin

A Swedish battleship was coursing through the western coast of Norway. On a particular dark night the ship received a radio signal in Norwegian instructing it to change course 15 degrees west. The Swede captain replied in signal that the sender of the signal should change its own course to 15 degrees east. Again the Swedish ship received the same signal message to change course 15 degrees west. Now livid, the Swedish captain signaled: “We will not. I am the captain of on a Swede battleship. If you want to remain safe and know what is good for you change your course to 15 degrees east.”

Pat came the reply: “Message received. We are at the Norwegian lighthouse. Now then, if you know what is good for you, change your course to 15 degrees west.”

May 10th, 2012 by admin

Shopkeeper Smith was alarmed when a new business, much like his own, opened in the storefront to the left of him. A huge sign was installed, reading BEST DEALS.

Mr. Smith was troubled a second time when another competitor leased the building on his right, and erected a much larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

At this point Smith was really depressed, however, he came up with an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop…it read MAIN ENTRANCE.