Short funny jokes » funny

Good jokes-Value of paintings

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:43:56 +0000

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor…”

Best funny jokes-Philosopher’s driver

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:23:06 +0000

A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics.

Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening’s lecture. The philosopher agreed and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, “Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?”

“That is an extremely simple question,” he responded. “So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly what he will do.”

Funny jokes-Timeline

admin — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:07:44 +0000

Facebook users probably know, in September, the site unveiled the Facebook profile page, which they call “timeline.” Or more fittingly, “waste of timeline.” ?

It’s revolutionary because it allows your friends and co-workers to see drunken photographs of you, not just from last night, but from any point in your existence?

Sarcastic jokes-Misinformation

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 19:01:07 +0000

Wikipedia was voluntarily down for a day last week in protest of proposed laws for anti-piracy. So, for that day you had to go to another source if you wanted misinformation about a topic.

To protest an Internet censorship law, Wikipedia has shut down for 24 hours. So if anyone is trying to look up by bio on Wikipedia, I’m 31, an Olympic medalist, and married to Scarlett Johansson.

-Conan O’Brien

Good jokes-Acting on statistics

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:41:58 +0000

“Why are you moving? You have arrived to this lovely neighborhood just a few weeks ago.”

“Yes, but I read in the local paper a bit of statistics that said, ‘most auto accidents happen within eight miles of your home’.”

Clean jokes-No one knows

admin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:04:52 +0000

Why women cry?

Funny jokes-Lock keys

admin — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 10:46:52 +0000

What does a guitar player do when he locks his keys in the car?

He breaks the window to get the bass player out.

Best funny jokes-Same grave

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:55:08 +0000

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”

“The tombstone back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”

Funny jokes-New baby

admin — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:39:08 +0000

Fred: My mum’s having a new baby.

Drew:What’s wrong with the old one?

Best funny jokes-New Year’s Day Prayer

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:39:23 +0000

Dear Lord

So far this year I’ve done well.

I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.