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Santa Banta jokes-A million dollars

Santa Banta jokes-A million dollars

Santa Singh says to his friend Banta Singh, “I will give a million dollars to whoever fulfills my desire.”

Banta Singh asked him, “What is your desire?”

Santa Singh replies, “To receive 2 million dollars.”

 

 

 

Most dangerous animal

Most dangerous animal

Tanu : Which is the most dangerous animal in India?

Manu (after thinking for a while): According to me, it is the deer.

Tanu: Deer? Are you crazy? Even a pet dog is more dangerous than a deer.

Manu: From Satyug (old times) to Kalyug (modern times), over a period of nearly five thousand years, the deer has caused the most trouble to people in India – right from *Shri Ram to Salman!”

(* Shri Ram is a Hindu God who lost his wife while hunting a deer and Salman Khan is the famed Indian actor who got into trouble with the law for hunting deer.)

Joke of the day-Romantic husband

Joke of the day-Romantic husband

When Arjun returned from office, his wife Anita asked, “Where are we going for summer vacations this year?”

Arjun was in a good mood and replied in a singing tone, “Jahan gham bhi na hon, aansoon bhi na hon, bas pyar hi pyar pale (Where there is no sorrow or tears, only love blossoms)”

Anita said immediately,”That’s just not possible. I am definitely coming with you.”

Hilarious jokes-Eating habits

Hilarious jokes-Eating habits

Tina visits the physician and says, “My son Johnie is in trouble. He stuffed carrots in his nose and lady fingers in his ears. Now he is crying.”

The physician replied calmly, “That implies that Johnie is not eating properly.”

Concerned Betty

Concerned Betty

The little infant was baptized and when the family was headed home in their car, the infant’s 5 year old sister Betty started crying.

The concerned mother asked, “What’s the matter with you, Betty?”

Betty replied, “The person who dipped the baby said he hoped baby was raised in a good Christian home. But I want her to stay with us.”

Shivering

Shivering

Reema, aged 86, said to her sister Seema, aged 76. “It was so cold last nite…I was shivering despite my blankets”

Seema said, “Your teeth must have chattered.”

Reema said, “Not sure about that. We have not slept together for years.”

Live together

Live together

Bubba’s wife says, “I heard that men and women are not allowed to live together in Heaven.”

Bubba comments, “You heard right, Mary. That’s the reason why it’s called Heaven!”

Fine suit

Fine suit

Tony went to the tailor to collect his made-to-order suit. He immediately noticed that the arms were too long. When he pointed it out, tailor Yassin said, “That’s no bother, just pull them up at the elbow and hold them in the front. You look fine now.”

Tony next pointed out the collar. “The collar is way above my neck.”

Yassin the tailor had a ready solution. “No problem. Hunch your back up and it will look just fine.”

Tony said, “But I am stepping on the hem!”

Yassin the tailor said matter-of-factly, “That’s no bother, bend your knees just a bit and it will be just perfect.”

Tony, with his body twisted awkwardly, steps into the streets.

Two girls saw him pass by. One girl said to the other, “Did you see that poor man?”

The other replied, “Yes, but what a fine-looking suit!”

Nothing to worry

Nothing to worry

Little Johnny and Josie, all of 6 years, go to their teacher with a question. Johnny asks, “Can kids our age have babies of their own?”
The teacher, rather surprised, exclaimed, “No!! It is not possible. Why do you ask such a question?”

Little Johnny, turning to Josie, said, “Didn’t I tell you there’s nothing to be scared of.”

For Sale

For Sale

Bubba put up a sale Sign in front of his store which read : “For SALE – BOAT.”

His friend Luka asked him, “You don’t have a boat. You just own a motorcycle and a scooter..then what is this sign for?

“Yeah”, said Bubba, “Them both for sale!”