Peter visited his dentist with a broken tooth. Dr. Roy, the dentist asked Peter what went wrong.
Peter replied, “Well, it’s the cake my wife baked for me. The cake was so hard – I tried to dig my teeth into the cake and one broke.”
Dr. Roy exclaimed, “But then why didn’t you just refuse to eat the cake when you realized it was so hard.”
Peter replied sadly, “Then I would have lost all thirty-two of them.”
Watson was reprimanding his son Tito. He said, “Look at our neighbour, Mr. Johnson’s daughter. She stood first in her class. And you could not even pass one subject!!!”
Tito replies, “You are right. I was looking at her all the time – and that’s the reason I failed.”
With great pride, Whatsapp announces that it has become number 2 in the world for messaging and chatting services.
Women still hold the first rank!
In my neighbourhood of Malad, I noticed that a new hairdresser’s shop had opened. The guy has put together the latest equipment, bright posters, good looking staff…the works. The charges were also high – 300 Rupees for a haircut.
The owner of the old barbershop in the neighbourhood came up with an idea. He put a board outside his shop which read in bold letters: WHY SPEND 300 RUPEES WHEN WE WILL DO IT FOR 50 RUPEES!
The new hairdresser wasted no time in giving an apt reply. He put up a board which read: WE FIX 50 RUPEES HAIRCUTS!!!
Henry the barber commented to his customer, “You hair is turning grey, Mr. Jones.”
Mr. Jones, displeased by the long wait, replied, “I know, I know. This does not surprise me, now will you attend to me before all of it turns grey!”
Astronaut James says to his colleague: I need to eat.
Astronaut Phil replies: Me too, guess its time for launch.
Lisa Gibson, the owner of an export business, confided in her friend that she was desperately looking out for somebody to handle her company’s accounts.
Her friend asked, “But didn’t you hire someone only last month?”
Lisa replied, “Yes, that’s exactly the one I am looking for.”
The little infant was baptized and when the family was headed home in their car, the infant’s 5 year old sister Betty started crying.
The concerned mother asked, “What’s the matter with you, Betty?”
Betty replied, “The person who dipped the baby said he hoped baby was raised in a good Christian home. But I want her to stay with us.”
Rita said to her husband Jim, “I am talking to you since such a long time and you keep yawning all the time? Don’t you have any manners?”
Poor Jim replied, “I am not yawning, my dear. I am simply trying to break your speech and say something.”
Reema, aged 86, said to her sister Seema, aged 76. “It was so cold last nite…I was shivering despite my blankets”
Seema said, “Your teeth must have chattered.”
Reema said, “Not sure about that. We have not slept together for years.”