Best Short Funny Jokes, Good Joke collection ever

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Doctor: They are for you

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

There’s only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There’s only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!

Customer :Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

Once in a jungle few male elephants were standing .

A female elephant passes near by them.

Suddenly a male elephant comments

“Wow !! 36000 , 24000 ,  36000 “

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks, “What are you waiting for?”

The husband replies, “Autumn.”

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So he tied her up and went golfing.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt.

Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.