Best Short Funny Jokes, Good Joke collection ever

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
“What a Great chest you have!’

He tells her,
‘That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.’

He takes off his pants and the blonde says,’
“What massive calves you have!’

The body builder tells her,
‘That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.’

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the
apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies,
‘I was afraid to be around all that dynamite  after I saw how short the fuse was!’

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”.

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don’t worry we have two engines left”.

An hour later the capain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don’t worry we have one engine left”.

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day”

Q: What would you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Blonde Moments!

Rachel and Lena two blondes were sitting down to their usual morning
cup of coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
“There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has
been declared” the weather report said.
“You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”
Rachel says “Jeez, okay,”  and gets up from her coffee.

The next day they’re sitting down with their morning cups of
coffee and the weather forecast is “There will be 2 to 4 inches
of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared.
You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.”
Again Rachel says “Jeez, okay,” and gets up from her coffee.

Two days later, again they’re sitting down with their cups of
coffee and the weather forecast is “There will be 6 to 8 inches
of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared.
You must park your cars on the…”and then the power goes out and
Rachel doesn’t get the rest of the instructions.
She turns to Lena and says “Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?”
And Lena replies “Aw, Rachel, just leave the car in the garage today.”

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouts out,

“Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!

Why did the blonde have to drink a hot Pepsi?
Because she couldn’t fit any ice into the bottle

There was this sweet blond who mixed her contraceptive pills with sugar free pills.
Now she has the sweetest baby in town.

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A: It is the one with the kickstand.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
A: The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Q: How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?
A: He’s the one on his bike.