Best Short Funny Jokes, Good Joke collection ever

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”
The new man asked, “What happened?”
“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about’.
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think you mean the telephone point on the wall’.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A: Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals”

A man and his wife, now in their 60’s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger… Whoosh…immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

The woman was happily showing off her new mink coat.
“It was nice of your husband to buy you that fur coat,” said her friend.
“He had to,” replied the woman. “I caught him kissing the maid.”
“How dreadful. Did you fire her?”
“No.” She smiled. “I still need a new dress and purse.”

One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma ”
And they say woman are dumb…

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.
‘Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,’ suggested the eldest son.
The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.
‘Now, you don’t have to worry about anything,’ said the doctor. ‘I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me.’
The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to football pools.
‘Tell me,’ said the doctor, ‘what would you do if you had a large win on the pools – say one million pounds?’
‘Why,’ replied the old lady, ‘I’d give half of it to you, of course.’
The doctor fell down dead with shock.