January 4th, 2011 by admin

1) Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed.

2) ISRO has selected Suresh Kalmadi for trial and error experiments for manned space mission.

“He must be the first choice” said a top ISRO scientist.

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Q: What’s common between CWG committee and students???
A: Both start their preparations at the 11th hour…

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!

Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games!
We now know these countries existed!

9) New proverb: ‘A collapse a day keeps the athletes away.’

10) New Nursery Rhyme:
Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame?
No sir, No sir, all in a Common Loot Game.
Crores for my partner, crores for the dame,
And crores for me too, for spoiling India’s name!

11) New anagram: From “SURESH KALMADI” you get “Sir U made lakhs”

12) Next event of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games, if India get to host them!

13) Sheila Dixit to Kalmadi:
[in tune with the latest blockbuster "Munni badnaam hui" from "Dabangg"],
Delhi badnaam hui darling tere liye!”. “Sarkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye”.

14) New Hope: Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega

15) The truth behind bulk-sms ban is to stop Kalmadi-jokes and not Ayodhya.

In China, they would publicly execute Kalmadi in CWG stadium by a firing squad and invoice his heir for the cost of the bullet.

In India, no heir should survive to send the invoice ….or enjoy the ill-gotten riches.