April 23rd, 2012 by admin

What do you call an arctic cow?

An eskimoo!

April 22nd, 2012 by admin

“An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said ‘Close, but no cigar.’” —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”

April 20th, 2012 by admin

A pharmacist looks out the front of the store and sees a woman holding a bottle jumping up and down in the parking lot. The pharmacist walks out to the parking lot and asks the woman whats the matter.

She replies ” I saw it said ‘Shake Well’ after I took it”.

April 9th, 2012 by admin

Election jokes

Top Ten Things Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission

10. “The first vote goes to Gore…call CNN and tell them Gore won.”

9. “Wait, if my wet laundry is in the ballot box…oh my god! Stop the dryer!”

8. “If someone voted for ‘the jerk,’ do I give it to Gore or Bush?”

7. “Let’s be extra careful, because every single vote counts…ha, ha, ha, ha, just kidding!”

6. “120… 121… 122! Yes! I’m the ballot-eating champion!”

5. “This is much easier than my last job designing tires for Firestone”

4. “America must never know Ralph Nader actually won the election”

3. “Discard all these votes for Bush — they’re obviously left over from 1992″

2. “I’m sure gonna miss you guys when this is over. If only there was a way to make it last a few more days…”

1. “Heads Bush… Tails Gore”

April 1st, 2012 by admin

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.