Short funny jokes

Archive for the ‘funny jokes’ Category

Funny announcement in flight:

“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.”

Facebook users probably know, in September, the site unveiled the Facebook profile page, which they call “timeline.” Or more fittingly, “waste of timeline.” ?

It’s revolutionary because it allows your friends and co-workers to see drunken photographs of you, not just from last night, but from any point in your existence?

A tourists guide was talking with a group of school kids at Yellowstone park when one of the kids asked him if he had ever came face-to-face with a wolf.
“Yes, I came face to face with a wolf once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a weapon.”
“What did you do?” the little girl asked.
“What could I do? First, I tried looking him straight in the eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer and nearer. I had to think fast.”
“How did you get away?”
“As a last resort, I just turned around and walked quickly to the next cage.”

Wikipedia was voluntarily down for a day last week in protest of proposed laws for anti-piracy.  So, for that day you had to go to another source if you wanted misinformation about a topic.

To protest an Internet censorship law, Wikipedia has shut down for 24 hours. So if anyone is trying to look up by bio on Wikipedia, I’m 31, an Olympic medalist, and married to Scarlett Johansson.

-Conan O’Brien

Fred: My mum’s having a new baby.

Drew:What’s wrong with the old one?