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Category: Clean Jokes

Hairdresser war

Hairdresser war

In my neighbourhood of Malad, I noticed that a new hairdresser’s shop had opened. The guy has put together the latest equipment, bright posters, good looking staff…the works. The charges were also high – 300 Rupees for a haircut.

The owner of the old barbershop in the neighbourhood came up with an idea. He put a board outside his shop which read in bold letters: WHY SPEND 300 RUPEES WHEN WE WILL DO IT FOR 50 RUPEES!

The new hairdresser wasted no time in giving an apt reply. He put up a board which read: WE FIX 50 RUPEES HAIRCUTS!!!

Barber joke-Long wait

Barber joke-Long wait

Henry the barber commented to his customer, “You hair is turning grey, Mr. Jones.”

Mr. Jones, displeased by the long wait, replied, “I know, I know. This does not surprise me, now will you attend to me before all of it turns grey!”

Dowry

Dowry

I am totally against the Dowry system which is prevalent in some Southeast Asian countries. In countries like India, the bride’s parents are sometimes required to pay huge sums of money in dowry.

During a serious debate on this issue amongst some educated friends, a question was raised – “Why do the bride’s parents need to pay dowry?”

The seriousness of the issue did not prevent a jovial Chartered Accountant friend of mine from commenting, “That’s because Excise duty on Production is payable at the time of dispatch of goods.”

Big orange for a head

Big orange for a head

This chap walks into a pub and to his astonishment, notices that there’s a chap stood at the bar who has a huge orange for a head. Despite his curiosity, the chap decides not to pry and sits down quietly.

After a few drinks, curiosity has overcome the chap and he decides to inquire.

“Excuse me, mate, but I couldn’t help noticing you have a big orange for a head. What happened?”

“Well,” says the man with the big orange for a head, “I moved into a large old house not so long ago. One afternoon, I decided to explore the attic and found an old brass lamp in the corner. I rubbed the lamp and a Genie popped out, explained he had been trapped in there for two hundred years, and would grant me three wishes for releasing him.”

“So what did you ask for first?” asks the curious chap.

“I asked for ten million pounds. The Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and he asked me to phone the bank, who confirmed my balance was now ten million pounds!”

“What did you ask for with your second wish?”

“Well, I asked if I could make love to the ten most beautiful women in the world. Again, the Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and the doorbell rang. Ten supermodels ran in, picked me up, carried me to bed, and ravished me all night!”

“Wow,” says the curious chap, “What did you ask for with your third wish?”

“Well, I asked for a big orange for a head.”

Hydrogen atom

Hydrogen atom

A hydrogen atom is walking down the street with a friend when he suddenly stops.

The friend says, “What’s wrong?”

The hydrogen atom replies, “I lost my electron!”

The friend says, “Are you sure?”

The hydrogen atom exclaims, “Yes, I’m positive.”

The friend laments, “Oh, I thought you were just being negative again.”