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Category: Best funny jokes

Hilarious jokes-Dinner

Hilarious jokes-Dinner

Sandra said to her husband Pete, “Should I make Pasta or Risotto tonight?”

Peter made a face and said sarcastically, “You prepare it first, we will think of a name for it later.”

 

Most dangerous animal

Most dangerous animal

Tanu : Which is the most dangerous animal in India?

Manu (after thinking for a while): According to me, it is the deer.

Tanu: Deer? Are you crazy? Even a pet dog is more dangerous than a deer.

Manu: From Satyug (old times) to Kalyug (modern times), over a period of nearly five thousand years, the deer has caused the most trouble to people in India – right from *Shri Ram to Salman!”

(* Shri Ram is a Hindu God who lost his wife while hunting a deer and Salman Khan is the famed Indian actor who got into trouble with the law for hunting deer.)

Funniest jokes-Smart kid

Funniest jokes-Smart kid

Andrew the landlord set up a sign outside his property “TO LET”. Below the sign was written in small letters “Only those apply who have no children”.

Little Johnny read the sign, walked up to the landlord and asked, “Sir, is your room still for hire?”

Andrew replied, “Yes, it is.”

Little Johnny said, “Can you rent it to me, Sir? I have no children, only parents.”

Joke of the day-Robot

Joke of the day-Robot

Dr. Lobo, the scientist says to his colleague, “I have invented a robot which is the closest possible thing to a human.”

The colleague says, “Really, you mean it has thinking abilities like humans?”

Dr. Lobo replies, “No dear, but when it makes an error, it can pass on the blame to another robot.”

The reprimand

The reprimand

Watson was reprimanding his son Tito. He said, “Look at our neighbour, Mr. Johnson’s daughter. She stood first in her class. And you could not even pass one subject!!!”

Tito replies, “You are right. I was looking at her all the time – and that’s the reason I failed.”

Chat specialist

Chat specialist

With great pride, Whatsapp announces that it has become number 2 in the world for messaging and chatting services.

Women still hold the first rank!

Desperately needed an Accountant

Desperately needed an Accountant

Lisa Gibson, the owner of an export business, confided in her friend that she was desperately looking out for somebody to handle her company’s accounts.

Her friend asked, “But didn’t you hire someone only last month?”

Lisa replied, “Yes, that’s exactly the one I am looking for.”

Concerned Betty

Concerned Betty

The little infant was baptized and when the family was headed home in their car, the infant’s 5 year old sister Betty started crying.

The concerned mother asked, “What’s the matter with you, Betty?”

Betty replied, “The person who dipped the baby said he hoped baby was raised in a good Christian home. But I want her to stay with us.”

Complex?

Complex?

Private Ted Smith goes to the Army shrink and says to him,”I suffer from an inferiority complex.”

The Army shrink says to him, “Nothing can be done about it. You privates don’t have an inferiority complex, you are just inferior.”

Member of Parliament

Member of Parliament

This is a funny story doing the rounds in the Indian Parliament. An MP (Member of Parliament) who was fast asleep at home, was woken up in the middle of the night by his wife. She whispered to him, “I think there are thieves in the House.”

“Not possible”, said the MP groggy with sleep, “In the Parliament, yes, but not in the House.”