July 24th, 2009 by admin

IF ONLY THEY HAD A JEWISH  MOTHER
MONA LISA’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “After all the  money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?”
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH  MOTHER: “I don’t care  what you’ve discovered, you didn’t call, you didn’t write.”
MICHELANGELO’ S JEWISH  MOTHER: “A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “You’re not  hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show  me!”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “Again with that hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance  good-bye!”
THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “Okay, so I’m  proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!”
PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “I don’t care  where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!”
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “Your senior  photograph and you couldn’t have done something with your hair?”
MOSES’ JEWISH  MOTHER: “Desert, schmesert!!  Where have you really been for the last forty years?”
BILL GATES’ JEWISH  MOTHER: “It would have killed you to become a doctor?”
BILL CLINTON’S JEWISH  MOTHER: “Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!”