July 1st, 2009 by admin

Revenue Canada decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Revenue Canada office.
The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said,  ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle  and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure Revenue Canada finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a  demonstration? ‘
The auditor thinks  for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go  ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can  bite my other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three  grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of  your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the  other side, and never get a drop anywhere in  between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully  and decides there’s no way this old guy could  possibly manage that stunt,so he agrees  again.
Grandpa stands  beside the desk and unzips his pants, but  although he strains mightily, he can’t make the  stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,  so he pretty much urinates all over the  auditor’s  desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a  major loss into a huge  win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his  hands.
‘Are you okay?’ the auditor  asks.
‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told  me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me  twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come  in here and piss all over your desk and that  you’d be happy about  it!’
Don’t Mess with Old People!!