November 23rd, 2009 by admin
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music..
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me….
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
November 23rd, 2009 by admin
The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip.
The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets,weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.
She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck.
He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. “Driver!” the passenger screamed,”Are you trying to get us both killed?”
“Relax, lady,” he said, “just do what I do. Close your eyes.”
November 21st, 2009 by admin
A man called the doctor’s office and says that his wife has the flu and
needs an appointment.
The receptionist replied that the office was going to be closed for a
couple of days, but that he could have an appointment in 3 days.
The man went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?!!!
The doctor can’t see her for three days?!!! She could be dead by then!”
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would
you please call to cancel the appointment?”
November 21st, 2009 by admin
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ……… ……… (2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?……….. ….(98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right…..!! !
November 20th, 2009 by admin
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist’ s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman. The gentleman gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, ‘NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.’