November 25th, 2009 by admin

Marc Faber’s comment on US economy

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

‘The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a

computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help

the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are

the only products still produced in US. I’ve been doing my part.’

November 25th, 2009 by admin

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutional ists
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiation

THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I’m married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me thanks!

3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

4. Kebab? No thanks, I’m not hungry.

5. Good evening officer, Isn’t it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh no, I couldn’t. I’m tone deaf and nobody wants to hear me sing karaoke tonight.

7. I’m just not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance as I have no co – ordination. I’d hate to make myself look a complete idiot!

9. I really must be going home now, Ive had a few drinks and have to go to work in the morning.

November 24th, 2009 by admin

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “Wow, you’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “I’m just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”

The doctor said, “I didn’t say that! I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’”

November 24th, 2009 by admin

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.

As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him.

The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sot, leaned over and whispered something in the sot’s ear, and made his way on again.

This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day.

The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into
his ear..

“I thought I told you yesterday to get the f**k out of here.”

November 23rd, 2009 by admin

Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he
spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing
off  to the side, waiting for the service manager.

Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, “Hey DeBakey…Is dat you ? Come over here a minute.”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked  over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, all  could hear, said argumentatively, “So Mr. fancy doctor, look at this  work. I also take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I  finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing basically the same work?”

DeBakey, very embarrassed, walked away, and said softly, to  Morris, “Try doing your work with the engine running.”