November 30th, 2009 by admin
A 70-year-old man went to the doctor’s for a physical.
The doctor ran some tests and said to the man, “Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?”
And the man answered, “Oh me and God? We have a really tight bond, he’s so good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.”
The Doctor was astonished.
He called the man’s wife and said, “I’d like to speak to you about your husband’s connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?”
And she said, “That idiot, he’s been peeing in the refrigerator!”
November 30th, 2009 by admin
Q. Why does a blonde smile in a lightning storm?
A. They think their getting their picture taken.
November 27th, 2009 by admin
There was this case in this hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?
So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.
Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.
Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil…and they waited.
8am, the patient was still alive…
8.30am…still breathing…
Just before the ‘cursed’ time, the door to the ward swung open…
Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!
November 27th, 2009 by admin
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
“Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”
November 26th, 2009 by admin
Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.