October 26th, 2009 by admin

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask him for a Phone Call.
Shop-owner replied Sweety this is no a STD, but you can do one call.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, “Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”
“Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.” replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, “Lady, I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm beach, Florida.”
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said,” Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”
The little boy replied, “No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!”

October 26th, 2009 by admin

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

October 24th, 2009 by admin

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked­ into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music­ ­and loud conversation andevery once in a while the­ ­lights would turn off. Each time thelights would go­ out, the place would erupt into cheer.­­However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went­ ­dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and­ ­asked, “May I please use therestroom?”

The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you­ ­that there is astatue of a naked man in there wearing­ ­only a fig leaf.”­­

“Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,”­ ­said the nun.­

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the­ ­restaurant, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a­ few minutes, she came backout, and the whole place­ ­stopped just long enough to give the nun aloud round­ ­of applause.­­She went to the bartender, and said, “Sir, I don’t­ ­understand. Whydid they applaud for me just because I­ ­went to the restroom?”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the­ bartender, “Wouldyou like a drink?”

­­”But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled­ ­nun.­­

“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time the fig­ ­leaf on thestatue is lifted up, the lights go out.­ ­Now, how about that drink?”

October 24th, 2009 by admin

A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”
The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

October 23rd, 2009 by admin

Why I am glad to be a woman

*  We got off the Titanic first.

* There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

* We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

* We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.

* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

* Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … ( You got the point? ).

* We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.

* We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay!

* We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.