September 21st, 2009 by admin
Natalie had three very active young sons and they were quite a handful. One summer evening she was playing cowboys and Indians with them in her front garden when one of the boys “shot” her and shouted “Bang! You’re dead, Mum,” so Natalie fell down.
Her next door neighbour had been watching all this and when Natalie didn’t get up straight away, he ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall.
When the neighbour bent over her, Natalie opened one eye and said to him, “Shhh. Please don’t give me away, it’s the only chance I’ve had to have a rest all day”.
September 18th, 2009 by admin
During a test I was administering, I noticed that one of my married students, who was quite pregnant, kept rubbing her side.
After class, before she left, I asked her, “Are you okay?” I noticed you were holding onto your side.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” she answered. “It’s just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little.”
“Well, that’s good,” I said, feeling relieved.
“Yeah,” she continued. “It’s strange. He normally sleeps during your class.”
September 17th, 2009 by admin
A guy finds a sheep wandering in his neighborhood and takes it to the police station. The desk sergeant says, “Why don’t you just take it to the zoo?”
The next day, the sergeant spots the same guy walking down the street—with the sheep. “I thought I told you to take that sheep to the zoo,” the sergeant says.
“I know what you told me,” the guy responds. “Yesterday I took him to the zoo. Today I’m taking him to the movies.”
September 17th, 2009 by admin
Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about nurse Nancy.
”She’s out of control!” the first doctor says.
”She does everything backwards. Just last week I told her to give a man two milligrams of morphine every ten hours, she gave him 10 milligrams every two hours, he almost died!”
”That’s nothing,” said the second doctor, “earlier this week I told her to give a man an enema every 24 hours, she tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour!”
All of a sudden they heard a blood curdling scream from down the hallway.
”OH MY GOD! I just realized that I told nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smiths boil!”’
September 17th, 2009 by admin
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.