June 25th, 2009 by admin
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!” “Hell,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
June 25th, 2009 by admin
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
“I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any pain killers because I’m in
a big hurry,” the woman said. ” Just extract the tooth as quickly as
possible, and we’ll be on our way.”
The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,”
he said. “Which tooth is it?”
The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”
June 25th, 2009 by admin
One morning at a doctor’s surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him “OK, what happened to your back?”
The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, that’s how I strained my back”
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?”
He replied, “You know I have been unemployed for a while now ..Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and I was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it but I was hit by a fridge.”
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, “What the hell happened to youuuuuu…. .?”
“Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor”
June 24th, 2009 by admin
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basket-ball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside, and in a few minutes, she returned with the lens in her hand.
“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.
“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”
June 24th, 2009 by admin
Q: Why are Egyptian’s Children always confused?
A: Because after death, their daddy becomes the mummy.