May 28th, 2009 by admin

A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. `This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?’
The first Singh answers, `That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!’ The policeman says, `Well…uh.. .that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.’
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, `This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?’
The second Singh smiles and says, `Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!’
The policeman angrily responds,
`What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?’
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, `This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, `Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.’
The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, `The suspect wears contact lenses.’ The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. `Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.’
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
`Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?`
`That’s easy,’ the Singh replied. `He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.’

May 27th, 2009 by admin

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . .. having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

May 26th, 2009 by admin

An elderly Irishman walks into a pub in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it;  it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”
The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I’m here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we all drank together.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. “Oh, no,” he, says, “everyone’s fine. I’ve just quit drinking.”

May 26th, 2009 by admin

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

” Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

May 26th, 2009 by admin

Blonde: I am a proud father, my son is in medical college.
Redhead:  Really, what is he studying?
Blonde:  He is not studying, they are studying him.