Short funny jokes

Archive for March, 2009

A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.”

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: ” Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”
The husband laughs and says: ” An Italian girl!!!”
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and asks:
“So, honey, how was the trip?”
“Very good, thank you.”
“And, what happened to my present?”
“Which present?” She asked.
“The one I asked for – an Italian girl !!”
“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!!!”
Moral of the story: Don’t tempt a woman, they are dangerous !

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.
“I’ve had a pretty good life,” the twenty proclaimed. “Why I’ve been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean ”
“Wow!” said the one-dollar bill. “You’ve really had an exciting life!”
“So tell me,” says the twenty, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?”
The one dollar bill replies, “Oh, I’ve been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church ..”
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, “What’s a church?”

A lawyer goes in to the cell where his client is being held. “Okay, I’ve some bad news, and some good news.”
“Right, what’s the bad news?”
“It’s DEFINITELY your blood at the scene of the crime.”
“So what’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is way down!”