Funny jokes, Short funny jokes

Women especially love a bargain.

The question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out.

Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear.

Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.

Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women don’t need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

Yo mama’s so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

A little boy in Church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, “Don’t pay for me, Daddy, I’m under five.”

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”

Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?

Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.

Doctor: Why?

Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label: Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.