A reason to worry!

The hospital janitor, Joe saw a patient running wildly in the corridors.

Joe stopped him and asked what was the problem.

The patient said, “They are to operate on me today. The nurse said it’s a simple operation, and there is nothing to worry.”

Joe tried to pacify the patient, “She was just trying to comfort you, why are you so scared?”

The patient replied, “She was talking to the doctor.”

Nasty Lawyer joke

Lawyer Jones: “This is exhibit 6. Do you recognize that picture?”

Asian Witness: “Yes, that’s me.”

Lawyer Jones: “Mr. Chang, Were you present when that picture was taken?”

Asian Witness: “No, I was at home reading lawyer jokes.”

Best funny jokes-Expecting

Dave and Gary are having a conversation over drinks.
Dave, wanting to inquire about Gary’s wife, asks, “So how is Betty taking her pregnancy?”
Gary answers, “Betty is not pregnant. She is expecting.”
Dave, intrigued, asks, “Hello! How is it different?”
Gary shoots back, “Well, When I return home from office, she is expecting me to cook dinner, she is expecting me to pick up the trash, she is expecting me to walk the dog, she is expecting me to wash the clothes….”

Countryside wedding

This is a true incident I was witness to at a countryside wedding.
As the ceremony was on, priest Richard raised his hand to give the final blessing. The groom misunderstood the gesture and surprised the priest with a high-five.
Not wanting to exclude the bride, priest Richard offered her a high-five, too. The priest finally managed to give his blessing, while there was laughter all around.

This is a true incident I was witness to at a countryside wedding.As the ceremony was on, priest Richard raised his hand to give the final blessing. The groom misunderstood the gesture and surprised the priest a high-five. Not wanting to exclude the bride, priest Richard offered her a high-five, too. The priest finally managed to give his blessing, while there was laughter all around.

Caught something

It was the final cricket match of the ICC cup between India and England. One of the Indian fielders, who had dropped one too many catches, was changing in the locker-room. He said to his team mates, “I am sorry guys. I should have closed my legs and not let the ball pass by.”
The bowler, who was denied a wicket because of the missed catch, retorted, “So should have your Mom!”
Embarrassed, the fielder tried to change the subject. Sneezing, he said, “I think I have caught a cold.”
The Captain said sarcastically, “At least you have caught something!”

It was the final cricket match of the ICC cup between India and England. One of the Indian fielders, who had dropped one too many catches, was changing in the locker-room. He said to his team mates, “I am sorry guys. I should have closed my legs and not let the ball pass by.”

The bowler, who was denied a wicket because of the missed catch, retorted, “So should have your Mom!”

Embarrassed, the fielder tried to change the subject. Sneezing, he said, “I think I have caught a cold.”

The Captain said sarcastically, “At least you have caught something!”